One thing I fear about being a real Christian is I am about to called a fanatic. When I decided to going to the church more often, and when I decided to being more faithful than I usually do, there is one little fear inside me that everyone around me going to call me a fanatic, “too much Christian”, weird, and else. To be honest, I am scared too that I am being a fanatic.
But when I look back my life-timeline, and if I can draw my own graphic of life, I clearly see that I become someone better in the time I come close to my God. It is like He changed me into someone new, someone I didn’t recognize before. He affected me in everything I did, every decision I made, everything inside and outside of me. He taught me about this life and how I suppose to live this life - in His own way which most of the time made me amazed. And believe it or not, He still does it until today.
If He does so much beautiful things in my life, then He deserves to have my love and my lifetime-thank you. If now people see those kind of “fanatic” people differently, weirdly, with one eye closed – that’s because maybe they don’t see what “fanatic” people already see. They see that this life is beyond their power, that the only one great God loves them and takes care of their life, and so do the other people in this world. All is written by the same powerful hand.
If I may say, they are not fanatic. They are just people who loves their Jesus very much.
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Being a single isn't forever enjoyable. Some said, even a song said, that being single is great. You can reach all your dreams, you can be yourself and do anything you wan to do without any permission from someone. But at some point, sometimesit is hard being single especially when you surrounded by people who already had their own couples.
For years, Ive been searching in myself what is exactly I am looking for. I am one of a hard-to-fall-in-love kind of person. I am hardly trust strangers who want to get close to me, I am hardly take a risk to have a relationship with someone I just met, I am hardly to give my heart away to someone. Then I realize that there is something wrong about me. And I think I know what it is.
I think I am too afraid to come out from my comfort zone. I expecting something more but I am too afraid to take the first step out. I am too afraid it's going to fall, I am too afraid to fail. But then I realize that for all this time I never knew what is out there, what kind of great opportunities I might have, what kind of things I am going to experience.
But just like everyone of us, the first step is always the hardest. I need to be a little bit braver.
Because maybe the second step isn't that hard anymore.
XOXO
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This is my new BFF: computer and books
I want to be her. Oh well, I want to be a part of this girl. I want to be as nice as her. Her name is Susan Angelia and she is a friend of mine and I knew her in university. I asked her whether I can have her theory I need for my final paper and she said ok. Not just that, in the time I asked her whether she can email me those theory, she said can't do because I have no internet for the first time. She asked me if I can pick it up in her boarding house (am say it right?). But then she texted me again, said that she will email those theory from the computer centre right after the class is done.
I wonder, really, if I was in the same position...I live in the boarding house without internet access and a friend - not the close one- ask me if I can send the theory through email, am I going to do the same thing as she did? I mean, she has a choice to ask me to pick the theory up in her boarding house so she didn't have to walk to the computer centre and send it away, but she did the opposite.
And even it's just a simple thing to do, still I appreciate it. And I will try to be that kind of person:
willing to help, as long as you can. An angel she is!! :)
XOXO
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One of my friend once asked me about: is it true that everyone of us at least has someone that we do truly love, even if you are now not with that person anymore, s/he will still there somewhere in your heart whether you realize it or not. No matter how bad and no matter how imperfect that person might be.. you still care for them anyway. They irreplaceable.
So.. if the feeling seems so strong, the connection feels right, the bonding is obviously there somehow, is it what we usually name them soulmate?
What if we somehow found that person, but losing it anyway?
Are we going to find another one?
For answering the question above, yes I do have one person that once really important for me, and he is irreplaceable. But if there are one or two things I can't change for one or two reasons, then maybe I have to learn to let go.
Because I believe someday my true prince will come.
XOXO
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